“They” Say… They being the experts in the field of all that is ‘woo woo’ and ‘spiritual’ and ‘feel good’ and the way it should be in a perfect world – ‘they’ say that the things that you focus on are the things that you will attract to you.
In the movie, the book… ‘The Secret‘ the basic concept is that you should focus on the positive that you want more of in your life because what we focus on is what we get more of. Ok. I think maybe it works.
I have been focusing on my marriage – on not knowing if I would be happier separated or if that would just bring me to a new kind of miserable.
Today I put my husband on a plane for a 3 month “hiatus”.
Hiatus: A pause or gap in a sequence, series, or process.
It’s not entirely clear if the hiatus is for him… or for me… or for both of us – but I’ll take it.
The thing is – if I take myself out of my own head, out of my own space and try to look at this scenario from an outside vantage point – it just seems weird.
Seriously, how many people willingly go or willingly send their spouse on vacation for 3 months? It just doesn’t happen. I can tell.
Our friends and family have reacted – some laughed (thinking we were joking), some yelled at him (thinking it was his idea) – some looked at me and knew that this was all OK with me but you could still detect the ‘how the hell did she pull this off’ thought running through their minds.
I’m convinced it’s the law of attraction. This is what I have been daydreaming about. Somehow having a trial separation without the mess and the hurt and the drama. It’s a win-win situation.
My husband suffers from back and neck pain – the cold Canadian winters bring him to his knees – he is too sore and tired to do much of anything – he complains about it constantly (justifiably) and it all adds even more stress to an already buckling relationship.
He typically tries to go away about 3 times during the winter – choosing the least expensive destination helps but it’s still expensive.
As he was scoping out his next 2 trips in the next 3 months I suddenly recalled that he had mentioned that some of his older retired friends spend months where he goes and get a better rate for it. Quick basic math said he could go for 3 months for the same cost as going 2 weeks now and 2 weeks later. I offered the suggestion, we talked, we thought and in an hour he will be on the plane.
The down side – yes there is one – even several but this one is not about me – it is that our youngest child is not very happy about it. The others are older but this one is pretty young still.
We have made a plan that the kids and I will try to arrange a trip in about 6 weeks to visit, we will talk on the phone every week and there will be of course email and Facebook.
I am going to be very busy. I still have to work. I still have to drive 3 kids around to their various activities. I still have all the other stuff that I have to do and want to do. This will be a real trial. Lets see how it goes but for now I am a happy person just getting this opportunity to try this on without having to commit.